The key to High Performance!
The Art of Deep Listening
Do you feel that:
People are talking past each other during team meetings?
People are primarily concerned with their own story?
Real connection is far away?
Perhaps you recognize it: while someone is talking, your mind is already occupied with what you want to say yourself. Your conversation partner senses this immediately. You show that you are not really interested. It prevents you from reaching a higher level of creativity and performance. You can't build on the other person's ideas if you don't give them your full attention.
Real listening is an art. An art that, when mastered, takes your leadership and team development to the next level.
Deeper listening
Deeper listening is the key to better collaboration and high performance teams. What exactly does it entail? Why is it so powerful? How can you apply it yourself? For anyone who wants to get other people on board, this skill is indispensable.
Deeper listening goes beyond hearing what the other person is saying. It means focusing fully on the other person, without distraction, without judgment. You ask open-ended questions and omit your own opinions. The goal? To really understand the other person and give space to what is going on, so that new opportunities arise.
On my departure as leader of the Emerging Markets team at Philips, I was given the image accompanying this blog as a poster as a gift. As a Big Friendly Giant with 2 big ears, I had shown how important listening is for the team's rapid growth. I had to laugh very much at the symbolic power this image expresses
What does deep listening provide?
In a time when everyone is in a hurry, attention has become a rarity. When you really listen, something special happens. People feel seen and heard, which leads to more openness and honesty. This strengthens the mutual bond and creates an atmosphere of trust and safety. In such an environment, everyone dares to share their ideas without fear of judgment. This stimulates creativity and innovation. Moreover, misunderstandings are avoided because you listen not only to the words, but also to the intentions and feelings behind them. Yes, this takes time. Trust comes on foot and goes on horseback. It is a crucial building block to achieve a high performance team that achieves goals faster and more efficiently and truly engages the customer.
Harley-Davidson
Harley-Davidson is one such company that understands this perfectly. Years ago, I attended a fascinating presentation by one of their former directors. In all their stores, and at every event they host, Harley-Davidson employees have thousands of conversations with customers. They ask all kinds of questions, such as "What's your favorite accessory?" or "If you could design it, what would it look like?" Since Harley-Davidson's catalog is very extensive, there is bound to be an accessory in there that meets the customer's preferences. And then they send the customer a picture of the accessory with a thank-you bill for enhancing the experience of many other motorcyclists. That's how you build brand loyalty. Name another company whose customers proudly wear a huge tattoo of the company logo on their backs!
The 8 levels of listening
To listen more deeply, it is helpful to become aware of different levels of listening. From superficial "pretending" to the deepest level, where you even pick up on emotions and underlying needs. In my book "It's NOT About You I distinguish 8 levels. The first 4 levels you will certainly recognize but unpack destructively on the connection with the other person.
1) Absent: You are in your own world and not interested in the other person.
2) Ignoring: You hear the other person's words but choose not to listen.
3) Pretending: You nod and say "uh-huh," but your attention is elsewhere.
4) Selective: You filter the information and hear only what is important to you.
From level 5 onward, the listening levels are indeed constructive:
5) Factual: You listen to facts without judging.
6) Empathic: You sympathize with the other person's emotions.
7) Generative: You listen with full attention and see potential for the future.
8) Transcendent: You listen with your intuition and change the energy in the conversation.
Want to take your team to the next level? In our Team Paradise program we work with participants on levels 5, 6 and 7. I'll discuss all three in more detail here, with a roadmap so you can put them into practice yourself. Level 8 requires an inner transformation, so for most team members this is not immediately within their reach.
Factual listening
The fifth level is factual listening. Like scientific research, we want to know the facts. We do not judge and are genuinely curious about what we hear. It is new information we are looking for, so we ask questions that give us more insight. Purposeful leaders often use this type of listening to get the full picture.
|
-TRANSFORMATION EXERCISE 1- Factual Listening The next time one of your colleagues wants to discuss a topic, say you want to structure the conversation with a simple agenda: 1. What is the problem? 2. What is the impact? 3. What support is needed to resolve it? Assume an active sitting position and maintain eye contact with your colleague. Give the other person three minutes to explain the issue (point 1). Listen so attentively that you could almost literally repeat what was said. You don't have to think about anything else. Hook in after three minutes with the suggestion, "Let me summarize what you've told." Then spend less than a minute summarizing and ask, "Have I described the problem so correctly?" If so, move on to impact (point 2). If not, give the other person brief time to point out what you did not understand correctly. Summarize again and move on. Do the same with points 2 and 3 and take another two minutes to agree on the appropriate actions. That way you accomplish much more in 15 minutes than what I see happening in most hour-long meetings. You leave ownership of the problem with your colleagues. They will appreciate that you are really interested in the facts. And you arrive at clear actions to solve the problem. Bonus tip: Hold the consultation standing rather than sitting. This will make your conversation much more active! |
Empathic listening
At the sixth level, we listen empathically. This is a deeper level of listening where we strive to truly connect with the other person. We want to see what the other person sees and feel what the other person feels. To do that, we want to open our hearts and establish a deep connection from within. This is how strong relationships are built.
|
-TRANSFORMATION EXERCISE 2- Empathic Listening It does take some practice to become an experienced empathetic listener. After all, you don't just listen with your head. You use your whole body to experience for yourself what your interlocutor is thinking, feeling and needs. Keep in mind the following: 1. Make sure your meeting or conversation is in a relaxed and safe setting. 2. Notice the other person's body language when they come in, such as the way she or he walks, talks, breathes and certain facial expressions. What do you notice? 3. Begin the conversation with a simple question, such as "What can I do for you?" Continue the conversation with open-ended questions. As long as the other person is talking, you don't have to think about anything. It's not about you, it's about the other person. 4. While listening, it is important to sense what the other person is feeling and needs. This can still be quite difficult because it can distract your attention from in-depth listening. But as you practice this more often, you will do this more and more by intuition. 5. Ask what the other person needs and listen to the answer. 6. Say in your own words what you are experiencing and check for confirmation. If the other person does not recognize the feeling you describe, it is valuable to find this out in time in the conversation. It helps to better direct the conversation and connect more strongly with your interlocutor. 7. Close the conversation by asking about next steps and thank the other person for the open conversation. You will be amazed at the engagement of your interlocutors when they perceive that you really understand what is going on in them. |
Generative listening
The seventh level is generative listening. At this level, we are connected not only to the other person, but also to our inner wisdom. This generates a whole new perspective. As we get into a flow state, we see the opportunities that want to be realized. These are moments of wonderful insights. They offer amazing breakthroughs in working with the other.
|
-TRANSFORMATION EXERCISE 3- Generative Listening There is no step-by-step method for learning generative listening. It is the ability to reside in a high state of self-awareness while simultaneously focusing your attention on the person speaking. Let's look at a few key aspects of developing your generative listening skills: ❖ Before the conversation, think about how you want to frame the conversation. How do you stay in the moment without being distracted by the voice of your ego, which is primarily concerned with your own self-interest? ❖ Ask only open-ended questions, starting with what, how and-if the conversation is going well-why (why questions tend to trigger defensive responses when the bond is not yet very firm). ❖ Observe the other person in a holistic way. Listen to the words, tone and breathing and watch carefully to see if the body language changes suddenly. The physiology of the body is directly driven by the subconscious mind. It reflects perfectly what patterns are triggered. ❖ Be curious. Try to fathom the opportunities hidden behind the other person's problems. Deep down, what does the other person want to get done? What can this person already do to make it happen? ❖ Encourage your interlocutor to find more answers within himself. The simple request "Tell me more about..." works wonders! ❖ Try to keep the other person from putting up all kinds of mental obstacles when they want to achieve something very badly. For example, by saying, "I understand it can be challenging, but let's focus on your desire. What does the best scenario look like?" You might be surprised what happens if you encourage the speaker to stay focused on the opportunities for at least ten minutes at a time. During such conversations, a lot of dark clouds often dissolve. You will notice how your interlocutor's body language changes. The spine straightens, the arms actively support the ideas, the eyebrows and corners of the mouth lift, the voice becomes stronger and the words flow more easily. At the end of such a conversation, you are also not tired at all. You both feel energized and see from a new perspective what is possible. |
Do you want to develop your team?
In-depth listening takes your leadership to the next level. It's not just a skill, it's a mindset. Get started and experience the impact on your team and cooperation.
Would you like to develop these listening skills to create a high performance team? Then our Team Paradise program is particularly effective. We guide you and your team through all phases of transformation in 6-12 months. Paradise Shaper distinguishes itself by bringing together the top stream and the bottom stream. The top stream is about the day-to-day operations: the customers, products, processes, kpi's and, of course, the money. In the undercurrent, the question is: how does the energy flow in the business? It is the creativity, commitment, ownership, cooperation and development of employees, as well as the negative emotions such as stress, irritation and disappointment.
How do you include your people in improving your operations? How can you optimally motivate them and allow them to grow? We use a broad palette of proven techniques, so that the undercurrent and the upper current will actually reinforce each other. Contact us for an informal conversation.
Together we make a difference!
Warm regards, Team Paradise Shaper
